Marriage


12Jun 2011

Damaged Personal Relationships Cost Businesses Money

Businesses are primarily focused on selling their products or services to customers and making the profit (or creating value in the business to be captured when the business sells).  That is the essence of business.  And that can be done in lots of ways — by treating your employees well or “using” them,  by providing quality products or by scamming

22Jul 2010

From Morse Code to 3D Movies: What Kind of Communicator Are You?

Recently, I was working with a husband and wife who also own and run a business together. One of the issues that came up was their differences in communicating, and how this creates challenges in their relationship (both personally and as co-managers). I used a “word picture” that helped illustrate the difficulties they are experiencing in communicating with one another.

07Mar 2010

Creative Problem-Solving: Ways to Communicate When the Other Person Just Doesn't "Get It"

My wife (Kathy) and I have been married 30 years. We are both college-educated and fairly good communicators. Most people understand us when we talk or write. But sometimes we have a hard time communicating with each other. It is not that we don’t try, or that one of us doesn’t want to understand. But occasionally (I think it is

17Dec 2009

Creating New Family Traditions Around the Holidays

A “new tradition” is sort of an oxymoron. By definition, (“a long-established, inherited way of thinking or acting”), a tradition is some action that you have been doing for a while. But I believe it is both possible and helpful to intentionally create new traditions for your family. We need to recognize that families go through a variety of life

02Sep 2009

Keys to a Long Term Relationship — Reflecting on 30 Years of Marriage

This week my wife and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary.  Neither she nor I can believe we have been married that long — part of it is that we just don’t feel that “old”! (To keep the edge of reality a bit less sharp, we usually comment that we were only 12 when we got married.) But as we

30Nov 2008

Family Wealth — The Difficulties of Differing Financial Backgrounds

I have had a number of situations recently where I have been involved in family situations where two members of a couple have come from significantly different levels of financial resources. The following are more in the category of “in process” observations — thoughts and reflections that I have that are still developing and not fully complete yet. Coming from

14Jul 2008

How to Create Problems in Your Life: Avoid Conflict

I have observed a common pattern across many areas that I work (and live) — people avoiding dealing with tense or conflictual situations in their relationships with others. And almost always, not dealing with the situation creates additional problems or makes the conflict larger and more intense (often involving more people than were originally involved). And it happens in lots of

16Mar 2008

The Simplicity of Healthy Relationships

I don’t mean to sound snub or condescending but, in a lot of ways, having healthy relationships is not that big of deal. Having positive relationships doesn’t have to be as difficult as people want to make it. I often tell my friends (and sometimes, my clients) that the work I do is not rocket science. Helping families and business

10Feb 2008

When Is a Problem Really a "Problem"?

A fair amount of my time professionally is listening to individuals, families and organizations who are experiencing some challenges that they are trying to manage successfully. They describe to me a variety of problems and are looking for insight on what to do. The issues range from individual behavior and feelings — anxiety about life, problems with anger management, patterns

29Jan 2008

What Do You Do When You Are Overwhelmed?

Ok. Confession time. I am feeling overwhelmed. It seems like I have more work (and other life tasks) to do than I have time and mental (or emotional) energy. [I can hear the thoughts now: “Physician (or psychologist), heal thyself!”] Let me explain the reasons for my current condition (from my perspective, that is; my wife will probably have other

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